†

I really want to write, I mean why not? I’ve tried a few other ways of expressing myself but writing really isn’t one of my strengths.

“I don’t know” is a common answer for me these days, but I need to know. If I don’t, how do I expect anyone else to understand me, want to be around me or have anything to do with me. I really need to understand myself is what i’m saying. My moods are not secure, they’re flimsy, fragile as mosts are. But -writers block- mine, can change so easily, I blame my moods for my lack of friends, I really do, I mean why would you want to be around someone who you’re not sure with tell you to fuck off, laugh with you or just ignore you?

I’m generally a happy person, I can get pretty down and i’ve thought I was depressed for a couple of years back, but I don’t feel like that anymore. I don’t cut anymore. And I feel normal. I feel good. I know there’s a purpose in life and it’s to just. be. and hopefully to enjoy it in the process.

My parents. Ohh my parents, well. For the past 3 years or more my mum’s basically hated my father, and I really don’t blame her. After the earthquake, with the stress and my father being retired, my mother’s moved to a different country. Just like that, had a weeks notice and she was gone, 13 hours away from me. She can’t just do that, i’m going insane here, I really am. I don’t want to go into that.